Monday was the first day of shooting for a new music video. My character is a lost and confused and scared woman who is trapped in this weird world with a mask that just won't let her alone. This translates into me wearing a shiny silver catsuit and walking around downtown Toronto amidst the crowds and onlookers. No problem right? Wrong. This shoot reaffirmed the fact that many people are cruel, selfish and unempathic. I had men staring at me *to be expected given the outfit* and women looking at me confused and curious as to what's going on. All of this is fine and I'm cool with it. It's like performing for an audience, and the guys well, what can you do? I'm a girl in a tight outfit.
But what was hurtful, were the obscene comments that came from some men, and the obscene comments that came from young teenagers. *both male and female* Then came the aggressive people - drunk or loud and pushing their company on me, shooting me with their cellphones and then getting belligerent about it when we asked them to stop. What makes this okay? What makes it okay to abuse and laugh at a young woman whos' just trying to work? I thought: I don't come into your place of work, record you with a cellphone and laugh at you while you are vulnerable. What makes it okay for you to do that to me?
Is there no empathy? Do these people not realize that being out in public in such a loud, revealing costume isn't easy? It's hard on your self-esteem to put yourself out there like that. It's hard to feel so naked, so exposed, in front of people. What makes it okay to take this opportunity to be mean? Physically it was also difficult. It was hot. It was humid. The catsuit didn't breathe. And I nearly started to cry several times - but not because of the physical discomfort. I had no protection: I wasn't wearing jeans and a tee, or a suit. I didn't blend in. I know I looked so out of place. And I get the surprised and curious looks. I'm totally cool with that. I'm not cool with the other stuff. I'm just a woman, I'm not a punching bag.
Thank you people of Toronto for making me feel like shit.